I have tried. There are a lot of career military people around here (the cold half of the year I live not extremely far from Nellis AFB) and people who moved away from SoCal because of rising costs and perceived political shifts.
I think it would be less of an issue in a more homogenous place, but southern Nevada is pretty firmly "purple" and people seem to try to classify you as friend or foe immediately upon meeting.
I'm on the weird spectrum and have a similar experience with neighbors. I suppose the more of an outlier you are, the less likely it is to randomly land in a compatible community, and therefore the harder you need to work to make it happen. Of all the places I've lived, high density residential areas near high densities of colleges were the best at making this possible. The problem is, settling in such areas tends to be expensive (NYC/Boston/Bay Area/etc), so you look further out, and wherever you can afford tends to be majority townies/normies.
Referring to other people as "townies/normies" seems like you're already looking down on them and not wanting to make any effort in getting along with them.
Why do you live where you live? If you move somewhere where everyone is very different from you and find you can’t get along it’s hard to blame it on them. They probably get along with each other just fine.
Not sure how you wound up where you are, but it sounds like you're not in the right place. If you look around and don't see any of 'your people' around, it might make sense to go wherever 'your people' are instead.
I think it would be less of an issue in a more homogenous place, but southern Nevada is pretty firmly "purple" and people seem to try to classify you as friend or foe immediately upon meeting.