Sorry for your friend, but that is a discussion you have to have at least danced around a little. Like which cut and whether she really cares about it. I'd say he dodged a bullet if she dumped him outright over that. I could understand a polite "no I don't like that ring, try again", but treating that like a deal breaker, wow.

She eventually accepted once he got a proper ring.

Oh damn nvm your friend is going to get fleeced first in credit card bills and then in divorce court. He got a proper ring instead of preserving his self respect and getting himself a proper wife.

Sounds like your friend dodged a bullet there.

> Diamonds are worthless, but reject them at your own peril. When my friend proposed to his girlfriend of 3 years, because the ring didn’t have a diamond she said no.

Sounds like your friend dodged a bullet there.

(I proposed to my now-wife without a ring. After she said yes, we went shopping for one).

If you think about it, a ring is just as unneeded as a diamond. The situation is that a diamond ring has become a social norm. I would bet that if you ask most women whether they want a diamond engagement ring or another type of rock, they will pick the diamond ring by an overwhelming majority. Imagine a woman telling others about their engagement and showing a rock other than a diamond. It would be a disappointment any way you see it. The "diamonds are a scam" reason just won't cut it. The diamond industry has been extremely successful at planting that notion in society.

I and most of my friends (late 20s to early 30s) have non-diamond engagement rings. The consensus is that diamonds are outdated, exploitative, and scammy. I also think they’re not as pretty/eye-catching as my lab-grown emerald.

I thought that lab-grown emeralds were more expensive than diamonds.

If that is true, then buying something more expensive than the usual thing doesn't invalidate any of the arguments against diamond engagement/wedding rings.

If emeralds are cheaper, then while I'd rather have the emerald anyway (it's prettier to my eyes), I can't see any person (male or female) preferring the cheaper jewelry.

My ring is vintage, the lab-grown emerald replacing whatever stone it used to hold. I imagine that brought down the price. My preference generally is for well-kept vintage jewelry. Beyond thriftiness, there’s an extra charm to wearing something loved by someone before you :)

That's a framing issue.

"Should we spend $X of our now common budget on a ring, or spend $Y < $X on a ring and buy a nicer car/pay out the house faster/add some more to the kids college fund?"

If she says "the ring" to that, consider a replacement.

My friend proposed with a ring he made over a weekend out of no fancy materials. She said yes.

That’s the version he gave you. Think critically.

If she had said no for some other reason why would he come up with that diamond story instead?

> If she had said no for some other reason why would he come up with that diamond story instead?

Less damaging to his ego?

A woman rejecting a man because the ring was not good enough portrays the woman poorly.

A woman rejecting a man because she can do better portrays the man poorly.

Sounds like a protocol error. They did not have a conversation first about the stones for the engagement ring?

He avoided a doomed marriage to a shallow woman. It's just too bad he wasted 3 years on her.

He got a diamond ring later and she accepted. Didn’t waste.

Sounds to me like he's wasting rest of his life, in addition to first three years.

He dodged a bullet if you ask me.

Your friend dodged a bullet, a big one.