Well, first of all, whether you read this or not (let alone agree, or concede even an iota) thanks for the opportunity to articulate my thoughts.
I don't currently have a partner, no, but I inherited these views from many years of lovers, partners, and friends. As a straight, white man raised in a Christian nation, I held the familiar, patriarchal views on marriage and gender roles without question until I started dating queer women in college (and almost exclusively thereafter).
I think that "how they feel about it" is they would prefer to live in a world with men who are familiar with—and reluctant to participate in—patriarchal dynamics. These women have been hurt by men who mistake domination for romance, and furthermore believe this mistake to be commonplace. I can't say what they "feel" about my precise thoughts here, because I'm extrapolating from a lot of data over many years: conversations, books, research, statistics, workplace and social experiences, etc.
I think it's safe to say, though, that I cultivated a feminist viewpoint in part because the women in my milieu wouldn't have otherwise felt safe around me. This is a perspective that I took in an attempt to empathize with women who explicitly told me they were both weary and wary of men who don't take this perspective.
So unless I've made a terrific mistake and fundamentally misunderstood dozens upon dozens of women and feminists, I think they feel safe, relieved, and reassured. That's all I'm trying to be, by the way: safe, and not harmful in the ways I've seen people hurt.
...and I think engagement rings cement relationships that facilitate abuse. I doubt you spend much time interrogating the sources and prevalence of abuse, but little matters more to me.
I don't currently have a partner, no, but I inherited these views from many years of lovers, partners, and friends. As a straight, white man raised in a Christian nation, I held the familiar, patriarchal views on marriage and gender roles without question until I started dating queer women in college (and almost exclusively thereafter).
I think that "how they feel about it" is they would prefer to live in a world with men who are familiar with—and reluctant to participate in—patriarchal dynamics. These women have been hurt by men who mistake domination for romance, and furthermore believe this mistake to be commonplace. I can't say what they "feel" about my precise thoughts here, because I'm extrapolating from a lot of data over many years: conversations, books, research, statistics, workplace and social experiences, etc.
I think it's safe to say, though, that I cultivated a feminist viewpoint in part because the women in my milieu wouldn't have otherwise felt safe around me. This is a perspective that I took in an attempt to empathize with women who explicitly told me they were both weary and wary of men who don't take this perspective.
So unless I've made a terrific mistake and fundamentally misunderstood dozens upon dozens of women and feminists, I think they feel safe, relieved, and reassured. That's all I'm trying to be, by the way: safe, and not harmful in the ways I've seen people hurt.
...and I think engagement rings cement relationships that facilitate abuse. I doubt you spend much time interrogating the sources and prevalence of abuse, but little matters more to me.