You don't have to be phony, you just have to not be unethical and screw over the people you meet, turning your acquaintances into enemies. If you behave like a normal reasonable moral person, you will make friends and form a social safety net that can support you when you need help. Poor people who behave unethically are truly stupid. Any short-term gain you might get from screwing people is going to come back to bite you before long.
The 'normal, moral person' is load-bearing in this argument. It's a wild card used to filter based on superficial preferences. It can be wildly inconsistent, even within its own framework.
Normies simply will never understand what it's like to be on the receiving end of normie social habits. They're more insular than you're indicating.
