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Fortunately it seems that when we meet someone we like, we turn out to be flexible and our restrictions are weak when faced with reality.

unless those restrictions prevent you from liking someone in the first place. i think young people do tend to make this mistake. i certainly did.



One trait I most admire in my dearest friends is acceptance of others without harmful judgement.

I am slowly learning! I think the trick is actually to see the less obvious value in others: e.g. smart but uneducated. The hard part is that it is most hard to recognise ability in others in domains where I am relatively stupid.

Also I tend to try to have the less judgemental self-select towards me by giving myself traits that judgy plastic types (oooo ironic) don't like.


i am old enough that i managed to reduce judgement to one metric: is nice to other people. everything else is irrelevant when it comes to accepting someone as a friend.

for seeking a partner there are further questions related to compatibility of character and also goals, but that often is not what you look at when you are a teenager.




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