As a kid I never understood how many of the other kids were starting to smoke, given how incredibly addictive it is. The warnings were everywhere. Like, why would you ever start when you know perfectly well it is both addictive and bad for you? It doesn't even make you sociable like alcohol.
Unfortunately, nowadays I instead get addicted a lot to various websites, like YouTube and ... Hacker News.
It's pretty easy to hang out with smokers when you smoke. Light one up, shoot the shit.
It's pretty easy to hang out with drinkers when you drink. Grab a glass, shoot the shit.
But it's hard to hang out with smokers and drinkers when you don't drink or smoke. Those who smoke or drink are the vast majority of the adult US population.
It's especially hard when you're not religious, as most of the teetotalers seem to be religious. Finding non-smoking, non-drinking, religiously tolerant peeps as an adult is so, so tough. It's like, choose one (or more) - drinking, smoking, institutional religion. Those are your options if you want to be a social adult.
It doesn't seem like it should be this way, but it seems to be, across countries and cultures.
> It doesn't seem like it should be this way, but it seems to be, across countries and cultures.
That's definitely not across countries and cultures, that seems to either be specific to your country, or at least your part of the world.
Try traveling to the Nordics (specifically Sweden). Usually very tolerant of most things, few smoke but most drink. But won't look sideways at you if you don't do either.
Non alcoholic drinks are becoming a lot more prevalent where I live, which is maybe surprisingly Wisconsin. It's a welcomed change for those of us that want to drink socially but not get drunk.
I really didn’t understand what an “addiction” was until I started smoking and subsequently tried (for years) to quit. Sure people say, “don’t do that, it’s addicting,” but most of what I heard was warnings about blackened lungs and cancer. I didn’t understand that smoking meant tremendous mood swings and irresistible cravings upon quitting.
And dreams even years later about having a cigarette and then waking up and wanting a cigarette... I started smoking around 13 or 14 and quit at 27. Still have those dreams once in a while seven years later.
As a proud owner of two kids and as a former kid myself: their prefrontal cortex is still developing. Either they cannot stop themselves or they don’t notice the danger or don’t believe it applies to them. Kids will happily walk into traffic without realizing they’re in any danger at a much older age than it would seem reasonable.
I think this is one of the reasons cigarette companies keep getting caught marketing to kids, as if they wait until people have more ability to reason and more agency, then they would decide to not start smoking. It’s almost as if they are preying on that weakened mental state to build a pipeline of lifelong customers.
Well, as I said, I was their age myself when I couldn't understand their irrationality. Perhaps some of them wanted to look cool or rebellious. But I suspect some people just can't really imagine what "addicted" means. Prefrontal cortex issue perhaps. "You can't stop but you can totally stop?? Makes no sense!" A previous poster mentioned something like this.
Gotcha. It’s hard to reason about in that case and I agree it’s really frustrating when you’re in the same peer group.
As much as I struggle to understand why someone would fall for something as obviously bad as smoking, I have ADHD and routinely have to explain why things that are easy for others are hard for me. We all have strengths and weaknesses. One of the only universal weaknesses is that we are all bad at understanding what is hard for others.
I teach 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders. Executive function is a skill. Some people are better at it than others.
I think the ULTRA hard thing to realize about other people is that they’re not like us. Even when we are comparing a peer group. What is easy for you and me might be hard for others. The inverse is true as well. Empathy is hard.
When it comes to smoking, I think of it like cult indoctrination. It doesn’t work on everyone, but it REALLY works on the people who are susceptible to it, and intelligence unfortunately has very little to do with it.
> Like, why would you ever start when you know perfectly well it is both addictive and bad for you?
Just because something is addictive doesn't necessarily mean that my life overall would be better without it. I drink coffee daily, I smoke and have other vices too, and realize that they're harmful. But I think with moderation, it won't kill you too quickly, and if I really enjoy something, shouldn't I just enjoy it?
Eventually I won't be able to enjoy anything as I'll be in the ground. But until then, I'll try to enjoy myself (in moderation of course).
The main issue with smoking as “shouldn’t I just enjoy it” are the secondary effects on other people. There are ways to mitigate some of those (e.g. not smoking when anyone else is present) and others you have to choose to ignore or not consider worth worrying about (e.g. the potential costs to the health system if you do have major problems later).
Not to pass judgement. We all do things that cause secondary effects to others. I just picked smoking here as an example because everyone knows what those are.
Yeah, you're absolutely right, there are definitely drawbacks that are bigger than me (secondary smoke, giving money to a horrible industry, costing taxpayers more health-care and so on), but I'm pretty sure me driving a diesel car every day might have a even bigger effect. And if I travel to the other side of the planet in an airplane a year, I'll already done a lot of harm to the environment indirectly, probably way more than both me and my cigarettes could ever do.
The only thing I can do is minimize the harm. I don't smoke next to others outside, I use tobacco made by smaller company with no additives, I never throw the fag-end on the streets and so on.
I used to smoke a lot and I still miss it quite a bit. Never felt that I was chemically addicted but the ritual aspect was a big part of why I felt the need to keep at it. Also, it was something that you could do completely on your own without having to explain yourself. Maybe not such a big thing now, but pre-smartphones it was a great excuse to leave a party or social situation and spend some time away from people.
I got addicted to nicotine because its a stimulant and I had no idea how to get help for ADHD in college. To make it worse i had various oral fixations since infancy.
Years later my vape is still my oral fixation, I use a fairly low nicotine level. But its a constant need for myself. Even after getting medicated.
Take this as you will, the relationship between mind altering chemicals and the pressure to succeed in a rat race.
I started smoking at 18 and quit 15 years later. Truth be told, we didn't fully understand how addictive it is. The thing with addiction is that it's a very abstract concept. As a smoker, you tend to believe that you smoke because you enjoy it, not because you desperately need it, although the signs of dependency are there. For instance, you wake up in the morning, and the first thing you feel compelled to do is light a cigarette to get your fix. Ironically, I only realized how addicted I was to smoking when I quit and experienced withdrawal symptoms, which came as quite a shock
What about the opposite effect? I know/think I'm addicted to cigarettes, I smoke a couple every day, but the times I've stopped smoking for weeks/months at a time (most recently a year ago), I feel no withdrawal symptoms nor typical signs of dependency. But after smoking for more than 15 years, I'm either addicted or have some sort of addiction resistance... But knowing myself with other substances, I don't think it's the latter.
Funny how different bodies seem to react very differently to substances...
I don't think that a couple a day can build an addiction. My withdrawal symptoms were quite severe. Depression, insomnia, difficulty to concentrate etc. Every person I've known who has quit cold turkey went through symptoms of similar severity.
> Unfortunately, nowadays I instead get addicted a lot to various websites, like YouTube and ... Hacker News.
I realized this about myself recently as well. I found a pretty good solution that works for me and may or may not work for you.
1. Disable all Youtube search history (no more recommendations!)
2. Use your hosts file to block sites you spend too much time on. To visit them you have to go through the effort of opening the hosts file and edit it (which for me requires typing in a long password because sudo). This was enough to break my habit of mindlessly visiting them. Here's an excerpt from mine:
127.0.0.1 youtube.com
127.0.0.1 www.youtube.com
#127.0.0.1 news.ycombinator.com
127.0.0.1 chess.com
127.0.0.1 www.chess.com
127.0.0.1 reddit.com
127.0.0.1 www.reddit.com
127.0.0.1 facebook.com
127.0.0.1 www.facebook.com
3. For your smartphone, uninstall all browsers and just use Firefox Focus. Turns out having to manually enter URLs and searches without auto-complete is pretty shitty user experience (which is good in this case!)
There is a free and open source app called SelfControl for macOS. It allows one to block access to any site one adds to the list in the app for the amount of time the user chooses. Attempt to use multiple browsers, restarting one's machine, deleting the app, etc. won't get around the block either. It's been super helpful for me, so I thought I'd just throw it out there.
The idea is that there should be some amount of 'friction' involved. I used to have a script that made it easier, but realized after a while that it defeated much of the purpose of blocking the sites in the first place.
Unfortunately, nowadays I instead get addicted a lot to various websites, like YouTube and ... Hacker News.