The only real way to handle it, even though it's not a fully general solution, is to ask the user if it needs to be different than what you've said is their canonical name. For example, just ask "How should your name appear in a address?" (only if different from your name) or "How may your name appear in government records?" (for when you need to look these up, like for known traveler info). That's not fully general but it at least accommodates many of these use cases and doesn't run afoul of the "automated rudeness" problem the blogger is talking about.