it appears you took the tabloid stuff and ran with it as a reason to disregard anything she says due to mental illness. at least that's how your first comment seems. including all of your comments against her in this post, you clearly have a bone to pick and i disagree with all of them. but that's all i'm gonna say about that, except, maybe you should listen to what she has to say in the article and also read the book "molly" by blake butler and have your views on love challenged.
I went by the reviews - I don't intend to read the book. Her husband believes she suffered from borderline personality disorder. Have you had a friend or family member with BPD, or another cluster-B PD?
These are clinical standards for self-absorption and toxic personality traits. In their relationships, cluster-Bs select for supplicants who will love them despite their toxicity. What you're saying about the memoir is consistent with this.
Her mental health conditions aren't a reason to disregard everything she says, but she is providing social and interpersonal advice here, in a way that is likely to encode the dysfunctional schema and disordered thinking she suffered from in life.
For an opinion piece that is about how to empathize with other people, I think it is relevant information that the author probably had a clinical impairment in their own ability to empathize with and understand others.
got it: don't take interpersonal advice from somebody who has a personality disorder. especially when their advice is a piece of literature that is quite obviously a cry to be listened to. also, disregard my own judgement in the assessment of the piece of literature, and ignore my own criticism of the piece. really, just ignore the piece as a whole because of my judgements.
and yes, one of my best friends has BPD and i dated somebody who had it, and listening to them and their subjective experience and tips on how to communicate with them was the best thing i could ever do.
> and tips on how to communicate with them was the best thing i could ever do
I'm interested in how you concluded the advice was so beneficial. Was it a reduction in conflict and fewer emotional outbursts from your BPD partner? A feeling that you're better able to soothe them and manage their feelings?
i read it and i'm not sure the point you're trying to make? that section is about empathy from the POV of the person with BPD, not about empathetically listening to somebody with BPD
edit: it appears we're talking past each other. i like this piece of writing and you don't. that's fine. do you have any suggestions for me to read about how to listen, written by one of your favorite writers or poets? this will help me better understand how to listen to you.
