If it's American to make counterarguments based on reason instead of ridicule, then hell, I'd much prefer to be an American than whatever the hell your judgmental buttocks is doing.

And no, there is currently no substitute for a legal removal of your repression so that you can, say, get on with some shagging. I would love to see a study trying to determine what percentage of humans have only come into existence because of a bit of "social lubrication"

For some people, alcohol is indeed "medicinal".