> But then I have to be their friend, and play local, or I'm rude.
I'm not saying you're wrong, far from it, but I've noticed that in Spain a lot of locals go to these language exchange events, where in other countries it's not the case. And I agree with your expectation to not need to 'pamper' the visitors.
(of course they're welcome and I've talked to some of them - though it is my impression they kept a bit distant).
But these people weren't tourists, they are living here now. I wouldn't mind if they were some random people saying for a few weeks or months, but this is people I've known for ~2y and we've done stuff out of meetups.
Not to mention that the've reached for help and I did indeed help them.
I'm not saying you're wrong, far from it, but I've noticed that in Spain a lot of locals go to these language exchange events, where in other countries it's not the case. And I agree with your expectation to not need to 'pamper' the visitors.
(of course they're welcome and I've talked to some of them - though it is my impression they kept a bit distant).
Cultural clashes are hard.