In my experience it's always challenging for people who struggle with focus and motivation to have conversations about it with people who don't have those issues, even when everyone involved means well.
Unless someone has experienced both dynamics, it's very hard for each to put themselves in the shoes of the other, because we're talking about brain chemistry.
No one with severe ADHD symptoms really knows what it's like to have a calm mind for an entire day, let alone most days (and what that means for one's career and social life). They can reason that such a thing is possible, but that's different from really grasping the experience.
Same for the other way around - you can reason that ADHD is a real and often debilitating condition because you see its effects, but you still might have trouble believing they're not also just a little lazy.
In my experience, the ones best able to navigate that conversation are individuals with ADHD who now medicate and can observe the difference.
Scott describes the phenomenon roughly as one’s “motivation” existing and fluctuating on a spectrum, with the absolute minimum being full sedentary psychosis and the maximum basically being mania. Some people spend their whole lives towards the edge of that spectrum and upon medication (normally a type of stimulant) bump themselves along into the “normal” range. I’ve witnessed the change for a handful of people close to me and it really is remarkable.
Also an important aspect is that high functioning undiagnosed ADD often manifests as ”What do you mean? Obviously everyone experiences this”
If you keep thinking that ADD people are complaining about nothing, it may be a good to get tested. You might just have developed lots of coping strategies!
Unless someone has experienced both dynamics, it's very hard for each to put themselves in the shoes of the other, because we're talking about brain chemistry.
No one with severe ADHD symptoms really knows what it's like to have a calm mind for an entire day, let alone most days (and what that means for one's career and social life). They can reason that such a thing is possible, but that's different from really grasping the experience.
Same for the other way around - you can reason that ADHD is a real and often debilitating condition because you see its effects, but you still might have trouble believing they're not also just a little lazy.