I think that's easy to say in the abstract, but the reality can be quite different. Of course every case is different, but for example:

* Spouse has dementia, does not recognize you, abuses you for being an intruder in the house, constantly shouts for help all times of day and night.

* Feeding, cleaning (double incontinence).

* Can't go out except for a few minutes when nurses are present.

The above goes on for months and even years with no end in sight. No chance to go out for exercise, hikes in nature, meeting friends. Isolation. At home carers have significantly reduced life expectancy for good reason.

Having hospice care where they can be well looked after is not a bad option, and is not a sign of weakness or failure for a partner.

Dementia is particularly evil.

As far as I'm concerned I am my mind. If my mind is gone my body doesn't matter, please don't waste effort in caring for it.

Thing is, it doesn't happen like flicking a switch, it's progressive and tricky to process as a caretaker.

I'm seeing this right now with a close friend and her 83yo mother.

It's seriously damaging to my friend, and no amount of my reasoning with her seems to help her process her mother's cognitive decay...

...and it leaves me defeated also, I don't have the tools to really be of true help.