It is interesting to read, and I can sympathize with the views.
I think you are right that men don't realize how big the impact of feminism is for women, but I also think it is reasonable as feminism traditionally is about women's rights and usually put men in a position of being the problem (as is also latent in this comment: why don't men clean more, why don't men marry these women).
I am completely baffled by the talk about mental load and the expectation that women should clean. I have lived on my own for years and is more than capable of taking care of my own home. I have also been in relationships, where the woman felt this burden. However, she was not able to articulate what needed change. In consequence I have to dismiss that entire element as there is no empirics in my view - only ideas.
Which is also in line with what some of my female friends report, at least in their experience: They report that there are some, relatively closed, communities on Instagram and other SoMe where these ideas are circulated and re-enforced without being qualified in this exact instance.
Cleaning isn't the issue, and I'm speaking for the women I know here but it generally is more about parenting load than household chores.
Feminism is also very difficult to characterize broadly: first and second wave feminism was much more about seeking equality (before the law, in eligibility for education/jobs, in terms of pay for the same work, the right to have a credit card, an equal right to initiate divorce, etc.)
Later waves of feminism do often view men differently and perhaps more antagonistically. I and most women I know don't identify with those. But it's easy to conflate the two and ascribe malicious intent to men toward women that isn't there.
I see, I have yet to become a father, but I have setup dedicated savings that will allow me some years of reduced to no work I plan to use should I become lucky enough to become a parent.
In Denmark the parental leave is made largely symmetrical across the parents. I think this change will alleviate what you describe, and I celebrate that.
I fully agree on you points on the development of feminism, and as a man, it calms me to hear your reports.
I think you are right that men don't realize how big the impact of feminism is for women, but I also think it is reasonable as feminism traditionally is about women's rights and usually put men in a position of being the problem (as is also latent in this comment: why don't men clean more, why don't men marry these women).
I am completely baffled by the talk about mental load and the expectation that women should clean. I have lived on my own for years and is more than capable of taking care of my own home. I have also been in relationships, where the woman felt this burden. However, she was not able to articulate what needed change. In consequence I have to dismiss that entire element as there is no empirics in my view - only ideas.
Which is also in line with what some of my female friends report, at least in their experience: They report that there are some, relatively closed, communities on Instagram and other SoMe where these ideas are circulated and re-enforced without being qualified in this exact instance.