In case anyone is curious about what the proper solution to some of these problems is in modern SQL Server:
1) Many columns can happen with per-customer customisations to a shared table. The common way is to have a "customcolumns" table with "ID,ColumnName,ColumnValue" linked to the base table that has an "ID" key, but SQL Server also supports this natively now with Sparse Columns: https://learn.microsoft.com/en-us/sql/relational-databases/t...
3) Manually populated calendar tables are actually a common schema design pattern, especially in manufacturing, shipping, and OLAP reporting systems. This is not that bizarre, it's just a bit weird that it would break logins! These tables can let you define all sorts of things such as international holidays, manufacturing calendars, tax years, finance reporting schedules, etc...
4) Dropping and recreating tables is also common, albeit usually done in a transaction. The fancy way to do this is with partition switching, where a new table is populated from whatever (external data, business logic, etc...) and then instantly swapped for the original without any long-running operations like truncate & insert would. See: https://pragmaticworks.com/blog/table-partitioning-in-sql-se...
5) Delayed reporting replicas ("here was a copy of the database. Data in this copy was about 10 minutes out of date.") is also a common pattern. At this point, the blog author is just complaining about the realities of business databases. Typically you'd have a bunch of read only replicas with different delays: Synchronous for HA failover, Asynchronous for DR failover and real-time reporting, and deliberately delayed on a schedule ETL copies for "point in time" consistent reporting. These would typically be done at 3am or something to minimise inconsistencies in the data. The modern way to do this is a SQL Server Always On readable secondary: https://learn.microsoft.com/en-us/sql/database-engine/availa...
6) "The main codebase I worked in was half VB, half C#." this is also surprisingly common. It's often not worth rewriting old code, there's not enough return on the invested money. These days there are automated conversion tools for VB to C#, such as: https://marketplace.visualstudio.com/items?itemName=SharpDev...
7) The Gilfoyle character is honestly the only thing that stands out here as an actual problem, not just a typical thing that happens in large enterprise bespoke software development.
1) Many columns can happen with per-customer customisations to a shared table. The common way is to have a "customcolumns" table with "ID,ColumnName,ColumnValue" linked to the base table that has an "ID" key, but SQL Server also supports this natively now with Sparse Columns: https://learn.microsoft.com/en-us/sql/relational-databases/t...
2) Shared identity or globally sequential numbers have a built-in schema object type now: https://learn.microsoft.com/en-us/sql/t-sql/statements/creat...
3) Manually populated calendar tables are actually a common schema design pattern, especially in manufacturing, shipping, and OLAP reporting systems. This is not that bizarre, it's just a bit weird that it would break logins! These tables can let you define all sorts of things such as international holidays, manufacturing calendars, tax years, finance reporting schedules, etc...
4) Dropping and recreating tables is also common, albeit usually done in a transaction. The fancy way to do this is with partition switching, where a new table is populated from whatever (external data, business logic, etc...) and then instantly swapped for the original without any long-running operations like truncate & insert would. See: https://pragmaticworks.com/blog/table-partitioning-in-sql-se...
5) Delayed reporting replicas ("here was a copy of the database. Data in this copy was about 10 minutes out of date.") is also a common pattern. At this point, the blog author is just complaining about the realities of business databases. Typically you'd have a bunch of read only replicas with different delays: Synchronous for HA failover, Asynchronous for DR failover and real-time reporting, and deliberately delayed on a schedule ETL copies for "point in time" consistent reporting. These would typically be done at 3am or something to minimise inconsistencies in the data. The modern way to do this is a SQL Server Always On readable secondary: https://learn.microsoft.com/en-us/sql/database-engine/availa...
6) "The main codebase I worked in was half VB, half C#." this is also surprisingly common. It's often not worth rewriting old code, there's not enough return on the invested money. These days there are automated conversion tools for VB to C#, such as: https://marketplace.visualstudio.com/items?itemName=SharpDev...
7) The Gilfoyle character is honestly the only thing that stands out here as an actual problem, not just a typical thing that happens in large enterprise bespoke software development.