> And as for privacy, a fairy dies every time some someone praises bitcoin for being anonymous.

And yet countless thefts have happened and had the proceeds exfiltrated via Bitcoin, and the culprits never caught.

If that's not effective/practical anonymity, I don't know what is?

A decent number have been caught and plenty of others are known but can't be held responsible because they're state supported.

"A decent number" instead of "every" kind of supports my point, though. I'm not saying you get anonymity for free, but by taking the right steps and being very careful, it's actually pretty straightforward.