It can't be overstated how much of this is cultural. Quality of life is simply less materialistically driven in Europe.
If Americans give up on home ownership and luxury items, they too can enjoy a European quality of life; living in an 800sqft rental and enjoying a rich social life.
Americans are much lonelier than their European counterparts.
In addition, lifespans in the U.S. are declining even post COVID relative to their European counterparts, largely due to increases in “deaths of despair” (drugs, suicides, etc).
The idea that Americans have a “rich social life” is not true relative to Europeans. Even the church going etc. is for most people forced upon them as opposed to something they want to do, as evidenced by the increasing number of people saying they’re faithless but onto church anyways.
That doesn’t mean that people with rich social lives don’t exist or even that the lack of such a rich social life is a problem for a majority of people.
What it means is that the U.S. broadly isn’t doing as well as Europeans and further things are getting worse.
I always wonder what would happen if you took these studies and actually broke down the US into units the size of the European countries we're being compared to.
It's easy to make a study that shows that the US has more X than some number of European countries—you just compare the entire US to all European countries and then cherry pick the ones where we do worse. But the US is a big place with a lot of variety in living conditions—even if you just broke down the results by broad geographic region rather than state, you would get dramatically different results than taking the US as a whole. What happens if you compare loneliness in the South with loneliness in Denmark? Or what about loneliness across the entire US with loneliness across the entire EU?
this is true but less and less so… I am European living in the US for the last 30+ years. spend my summers in europe and noticing each and every year that this culture is slowly dying. playgrounds where hoards of kids used to be are mostly deserted, mobiles and social media are slowly taking over the lives of europeans too. this may be difficult to see if you are not looking hard cause european cities get A LOT more tourists than US cities (tourists are on their phones too :) )
I have no doubt that materialism and consumerism is eroding social life in Europe too. My point is primarily that the US is way ahead of the curve on this, and it explains much of the difference.
I have a lot of friends who went the opposite direction of you, and chose a cheaper but more fulfilling life in Europe.
Instead of making 200k a year in the us, they make modest salaries and rent 100-year-old farmhouse flats that Americans would call a slum. They drive economy cars and spend their ample time socializing or outdoors.
My personal opinion is that Europeans simply place a higher priority on social interaction and incorporate it into their daily lives. Many of them have more modest financial aspirations, and don't expect to ever own a house, vacation property, or boat.
I basically explain this by comparing my life (US of A) to my sisters (EU). My sister makes great money - my sister spends ALL of this great money. she lives paycheck-to-paycheck which in US would mean she is poor, in EU she is living large (just came back from UAE, heading to Kenya in a couple of weeks, January Macedonia and Austria…). I make 789x what she does and put away 60+% - been doing this for 25 years now, almost done with working though
Do people honestly think Americans don't have rich social lives? Just because we socialize differently doesn't mean it isn't rich. Most Americans seem to prefer church groups, and small friend and family gatherings at their homes rather than going out and mingling in urban entertainment districts and bars.
Europeans get most of their perspective on US social living conditions from the terminally online, who are disproportionately likely to have no social life. The average American living in, say, the Midwest doesn't show up in the anecdotes that stereotypes are built around.
I'm an American and it definitely seems like we are in a significant and worsening loneliness crisis. I have no idea to what degree any of it is unique to Americans. Social connectedness, socialization rates, and companionship have all been declining for quite a while now. Lot's of potential causes and theories about it. [1] is a decent overview.
Like personally I'm doing great, and so are a lot of people I know, and I'm sure you as well. But I think a lot of Americans are struggling badly with their social lives.
#1 Reason is likely the urban fabric of places being non-walkable & car dependent. It's a physical structure that doesn't lead itself to spontaneity and new connections.
I recommend reading Robert Putnam's Bowling Alone (2000). American civic and social engagement has been declining in almost every measurable way for 50 years now. There is no way to deny this.
The largest contributor according the book's surveys and studies (and I love saying this) is television outcompeting in-person fun. Car dependency is a factor, but IIRC was factor #2 or #3. While this ranking was true at the time of publication, I would wager that time spent on "screens" is likely factor #1, #2, and #3 now.
I would wager that many people are fleeing their hometowns to socialize in cities not because they're walkable, but because the density of people increases, allowing you to have better odds meeting real humans who haven't been lost to the allure of the indoors.
Go for a walk where? On the side of the stroad? With your friends who live 10Km away and have to drive to meet you because there's no public transport?
My take is that Americans like to make infrastructure an excuse for everything when it really boils down to priorities and preferences.
10 km is a 20 minute bike ride if you're not too obese to fit on one. 10 minutes if you pick a coffee shop, pup, or Park that is halfway. Unfortunately, most people prefer Netflix and the fridge which is even closer
in 89.65% ‘going for a walk’ is not possible unless you want to walk in circles around your house 76km away from the first tree/park/coffee house… you may though go for a drive in a pickup :)
Maybe if you're living in the Alaskan wilderness, but pull up a map of San Francisco, Austin, or Denver and you'll find a plethora of parks, coffee shops, and pubs. That doesn't stop people from sitting at home watching Netflix alone
lol america to non-american who watch a lot of movies might be SF, Denver, Austin… and even in those urban areas (which is not typical America) most people would need a serious drive to find a park (I used to live in Denver area, walking to a park would have been like 110k steps :) )
Strange, I pull up downtown Denver and I see like 20 parks within a square mile.
However, this kind of whataboutism illustrates my point. There's a near infinite number of places humans can congregate to enjoy each other's company. It can be a park or a coffee shop or a pub or your kitchen table for tea.
The fact that none of these are suitable demonstrates that the desire to get together is not there.
downtown Denver can house minuscule part of the population of the Denver metro area - only those affluent enough to afford it. America (again) is not downtown Denver or downtown SF or downtown anything...
hasn't this always been the case? most european land and cities has been densly populated for centuries.
Also, a lot of american homes seem to need space for luxuries which are simply weird for many europeans.
A bathroom per bedroom for instance? Why not share a bathroom with the entire household,and have a seperate small toilet instead?
American kitchens also seem really large compared to most european one's i have seen, but they also seem to have a more social function then what kitchens are used for normally. (preparing food)
