I find this to be very familiar. I worked endlessly to be able to have no responsibility and endless freedom. My partner passed away several years ago now, and I still haven't filled that void. I'm not unhappy by any means, but money and freedom are a poor substitute for companionship.

Similar boat! I also worked hard to have freedom, and then my partner died, two and half years ago. I was left with a toddler, so don't have that much freedom. Sometimes I think perhaps it's ok this way...

I am sorry this happened to your family. I suspect your relationship with your toddler will be very special and unique in the years to come. Hope you are doing ok.

The book of Ecclesiastes is about this. It makes more sense if you s/meaningless/vapor/g, i.e. we're all chasing after something like smoke that we can see but can't 'catch'.

I love that book. Haven't read much of the bible, but totally recommend anyone to read this Buddhist sutra that was smuggled in somehow :)

Fascinating that your version said "vapor". That's a much better translation. The versions I've read called it "vanity" which was even more obtuse. Once I figured out that they meant something insubstantial and fleeting, I found that particular book beautiful.

Everybody here is catching smoke Looking for the ephemeral Swallowing the sun in a moonlit room Standing at the foot of a rainbow Everybody here is catching smoke Looking for the ephemeral Riding on a yellow-bellied brown snake Sipping on hedonism

Having a spouse helps, but overall I think this is a road to depression. People are social creatures and you need to be proactive with friends especially in the adulthood and also participate in communities if time allows (sports, interests etc.)

I've found myself in a similar position. I'm trying to figure out how to not be self-destructive, but I feel the urge to distance myself from people.

But why did you need to distance yourself from others? Or was that just a consequence from your other lifestyle choices?

I suspect it might feel indecent to tell others you suffer when you're both free and rich, and it's difficult for them to figure what's wrong with you.

Instead, people in such position should probably go out and join associations which distribute food to those who need it. At least they'll see that they're doing something good to improve others' condition and would probably feel better.

I am currently at the same place, with no reasonable place out. How did you solve it?

I think the shortest way of putting it is: stay curious; find people willing to teach you; teach others what you've been successful at.

This is the best advice IMO.