Yes, because there are very few instances where you would genuinely need to know that information. If you are in one of those (hint: you are my primary care physician or romantic partner), I will offer it to you freely. I believe this even though my biological and expressed gender align.

There are plenty of characteristics that are rude to ask even when they are factual. Asking people their age is often rude, even though it's not something they can change. Nobody is offended by the fact that they are not 21 but they can definitely be offended if you point that out to them.

Asking people's age for statistical purposes or reporting that statistic is not at all rude. It's anonymous.

Please cite the LGBTQ oriented communities you are part of where it is considered polite to quiz people about their genitals.

> and I would avoid communities where it would be seen as wrong

are you part of this t4t community?

He was obviously responding to "and probably most communities?"