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And about one percent of the women around you have survived an ectopic pregnancy because we're still (mostly) a society that cares more about the life of a breathing, thinking person than of an embryo that was doomed from the moment it landed outside of the uterus.

I'm part of that one percent. I regularly say a prayer of thanks for the doctors and nurses who (mostly metaphorically, but one physically) held my hand and explained what had gone wrong, how I could deal with it in a way that would preserve our chances to try again with as little risk to me as possible. I thank God that I was in a country with the resources and the legal apparatus for me to deal with my disappointment quickly and safely.

And I'm thankful for the child who I was able to bear nearly a decade later.

I don't judge anyone for the abortion they felt was the best of their hard options. I theoretically would have been left until I was bleeding out in many countries [0], and even my own home state doesn't quite feel safe now.

[0] No, I wouldn't. I'm a well-off American woman who can fly to somewhere rational, and worst case, am good friends with several MDs.



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