"Pēdīcābo ego vōs et irrumābō"

I had a college Latin teacher who asked us to translate this one. The professor was very clear that we should translate it in the spirit it was written, which is to say, vulgar.

I offered the following translation of the first line:

"I will fuck you up the ass, and jam my cock down your throat."

The professor then said, "Excellent. Tonally perfect. Now let us never speak of it again."