I want a social media website that barely ever notifies me, has no algorithmic feed, no ads and limits the amount of connections I can have to about the size of a large wedding party. Something like that would be for actual friends and family and would be useless for influencers, trolls and bots.
Bonus points if it doesn't have an app and is only a website.
Mastadon is a more of a broadcast network with micro-blogging. It's got advantages over a place like twitter but not what I'm looking for. And having worked on decentralized social networking, I've turned off from it because it has a lot of ux, privacy and quality issues that are hard to solve.
Myspace or early Facebook is closer to what I'd want.
Digging into your clarifying comments further down, and what you’re describing isn’t social media but just a website people can post stuff on. Social media by its very nature is public, and when it’s public it becomes exploitable.
I do think there’s an opening for a “landing page” of sorts where invited persons can easily share photos and updates with one another (I’ve seen it in the Enterprise repeatedly, though it never gains traction) like the 2010-era Facebook you describe, but it’d have to be something you (or someone in your circles) hosts for everyone if you want the privacy and utility without the ads, spam, and miscreants.
Social media is defined in a lot of ways but what I'm talking about is defined by bi-directional connections between users and sharing within that verified graph.
Self-hosting is a non-starter but a service that charges a reasonable subscription fee could avoid the ads and dark patterns.
A non-profit model like Wikipedia plus low cost subscription would be ideal.
I don't know what 2010 era Facebook is, but I'm talking about small SMS, iMessage, Signal, or WhatsApp groups among people who know each other outside the platform. These groups are no more than maybe 10 people each, so you don't fall into the problem of context collapse [1]. You can have offshoot subgroups, and groups can also be ad-hoc for a particular event. The personal small-scale nature means they're governed entirely by shared social norms, not algorithms or formal moderation.
If you want actual meaningful social interactions online, it needs to be small-scale and completely useless for advertisers. Group chats are that.
Yeah the whole idea of public mass social media has basically failed thus far.
Maybe someone will create some enlightened LLM based algorithm that solves the engagement optimization problem but what we have now has proven to be pretty disastrous through many iterations.
Small scale group chats/discord servers are the clear solution right now. Which is sad in some ways because the question then becomes how do you find your way into a good group chat.
But it’s the only way for the sane to not be overwhelmed by the engagement farming, political nonsense, and what Noah Smith calls the “shouting class” of people that have nothing else to do in life but dominate these platforms by stirring up drama all day every day.
Yes, an imessage group chat with a few close friends is the best social network IMO. I have two, one with me and some college buddies and another for my family.
As I said below, I’m not interested in a chat program in the least. Especially discord. I use it when I have to but it’s a much more demanding and ephemeral experience than I described.
Is this a generational divide? There’s no way I’d ever convince my immediate family let alone my extended family to join a discord server.
Bonus points if it doesn't have an app and is only a website.