Strangely, I though the author refers to 'finding the pain', he is actually describing 'finding the customer'. The example he describes is the difference between the user, the student learning violin, and the customer, the parent of that user.

The customer's "pain" isn't that she wants her child to get into Harvard, or that the customer wants their child to learn violin. Notice, we don't describe these as "the parent is pained about getting their child into Harvard".

Not everything is a pain, I believe we sell wants more than solutions to pain.