Some of those men could meet someone if they quit Tinder or whatever crap online platform they might be using for dating, and start meeting people in real life.
Worked for me at least. There's simply less competition and more space for genuine social interaction.
> Some of those men could meet someone if they quit Tinder
Maybe your intentions are good, but remember, unless we legalize polygamy, the "bad/inept/creepy straight-white men" narative should crumble for people in their 30s and 40s when it's the last train for marriage and children.
But we don't have "some of those women..." narrative about single women in their 40s complaining they can't find a husband.
My point is it's an universal problem in the civilized world, spanning vastly different cultures in Asia and Europe and North America, "some of those men" is very hand wavy explanation, and I think it spans from the extremely toxic (I'd say anti-human and demonic) hollywood pop culture.
I'm not going to say it's 'simple' to have hobbies or find people, but realistically if you don't regularly meet strangers in real life, you'll never date strangers so it's a catch 22.
Unless we all want to set ourselves up for arranged marriages in the future, we need to confront this reality.
Speaking as a pariah for most of his life; I doubts it would ever be so dire.
There's always going to be social circles and people coupling up no matter what. But if anything I wonder if, for people like me who aren't really worthy of intimacy, living in a society has options to live a solitary life while still contributing is actually a net positive overall. For me to self select out of the dating pool would mean less noise for someone else looking for a worthy partner.
There's less chaff that people in said said pool would have to wade though. The people that want to couple and are capable of doing so will continue to so with less distraction. That seems an overall good thing, no?
Real life hobbies, voluntary work, religious organizations if you're into that stuff. Any of these could work, as long as you find some genuine interest in it, and there are enough people that meet your dating profile around.
Of course there's also the possibility of meeting people in online communities centered around some shared interest. IMO that's also probably more effective than dating apps, especially if it leads to meeting in real life later on.
Go to parties.... One of the 5 biggest party days is this Friday, and with it being on a Friday it will be more intense. A solid 3 nights of good parties. That's all you have to do, I do not understand how this is lost on people. Go to parties and have fun and meet people.
> Go to parties.... One of the 5 biggest party days is this Friday, and with it being on a Friday it will be more intense.
You mean Halloween?
> Go to parties and have fun and meet people.
You mean standing with a glass of champagne in hand, smiling, and talking for the sake of talking? I don't understand how this is fun. I tried doing that, albeit without champagne, and that had not yielded anything other than an increased connections count on LinkedIn.
It's fun for many of us due to the combination of music, dancing, alcohol and socialization (in varying proportions: depending on tastes, interests and circumstances, one or two of those aspects can be set to zero and it's still enjoyable).
Of course, it's also perfectly fine not to like it, and then the most reasonable course of action is not to go. Or to go a couple of times until you're sure you don't like it, and not go anymore. I know cases of people who go partying just because they want to find a partner, but don't enjoy it at all (it's relatively common in my country because partying is quite a religion and there's often a lot of social pressure at certain ages), and that's rather sad. There are other ways to socialize, it's not necessary at all to torture oneself.
That said, I have to lecture you on the questioning of "talking for the sake of talking". In the context of finding a partner, talking to other people is exactly what people need... it's not "for the sake of talking", it's for the sake of socializing, meeting new people, building connections, which is the whole point when we're talking about flirting or lack thereof.
> it's not "for the sake of talking", it's for the sake of socializing, meeting new people, building connections, which is the whole point when we're talking about flirting or lack thereof.
In my experience you really have to be constantly spitting nonsense to keep the conversation from ending and to avoid awkward silence. When the other person is talking, even if I didn't hear most of what they said, I keep nodding, because I don't actually care in the slightest about what they were talking about, and so asking to repeat does not make sense, as that would only increase awkwardness. This is why I said "for the sake of talking." The only thing that matters is that you are talking, not the content of the talk.
>You mean standing with a glass of champagne in hand, smiling, and talking for the sake of talking?
Bruh, you literally just asked how to meet people. Is that not what "talking for the sake of talking" is? What else are you doing when you "meet" people but talking? Do you want to jump straight into helping them move or change a tire or something, I'm sure that's possible, but it's unconventional.
Also yeah, with out the alcohol, it's not the same. Alcohol is the foundation of society, so yes, I mean champagne sucks, but drink something enjoyable. You don't even have to actually talk to people that much, just go drink and hang out. It's not hard.
Depends on the country and person I guess. When I did try approaching women a few times, it was 10% angry looks, 30% awkward, 30% basic polite conversation to fulfill social obligation, and 30% friendly conversation. Unfortunately I'm not keen enough to pursue that 30% of friendly conversations by wading through the rest.
I know right? And tech is such a male-dominated industry, so presence of a female in your proximity is a rare event by itself. But, even if such an event occurs, as you said, interacting with a female is one hell of a minefield. Honestly, at this point, I cannot blame people for choosing to be gay. It is just so much easier to just talk to men, because you don't have to worry about all those mind games.
Worked for me at least. There's simply less competition and more space for genuine social interaction.