The situation you describe is entirely inconceivable. I have knowingly had transgender people in my life for about two decades. I have never seen a "gentle correction" "met with overt hostility". I have only ever seen acrimony in explicit debate spaces, when people chose to make object-level examples of themselves for emotional appeal. And people simply do not "continuously" refer to other parties to the discussion in third person, at all.

In essence, you don't see this as a problem because it doesn't happen in the polite society you surround yourself with. That is a fair observation.

I see no reason to believe it happens anywhere else, either.