For me it started with waiters: a good waiter can really help you figure out what to order, or what to drink.
Instead of staring at the menu for 5 minutes (while your dear friend, or wife, or parent) is right there with you, just glance at it, get a few ideas, and then ask the waiter:
"I'm pretty hungry. The chicken looks good, is it <insert feared or desired quality here: heavy, filling, too cheesy, high quality meat>?"
Or with wine: "I love jammy Zinfandels: berry berry all the way! Do you have anything like this?"
Once you start interacting with waiters in this way, you hea out into the country and go to Big Boy or whatever, and you get this surly, timid young person, and you ask your questions, and they look at you like you're from Mars.
And you realize: this person (probably very nice person), but this person has never really learned what a waiter is.
It's really about interacting with people, putting them at ease, helping them navigate the menu, allowing them to focus on the people they are with. It's far more than just accepting orders and bringing food like a robot.
Anyways: people in retail stores are also like this and you should be able to use them to find better things to buy than you otherwise would.
They can be a great help and smart people will take advantage of their help.
Restaurants are a slightly different situation. Once you're already in a restaurant, it's quitely unlikely that you're going to walk out without buying something. The waiter (if motivated by tips) has every reason to help you actually enjoy your food.
Salespeople, who are more commonly motivated by commission, have every reason to convince you to buy something whether or not you need it.
They do but throw away any feelings of compulsion to buy things to make the salesperson happy. And if you don't like them or find them helpful, totally just walk away or say: "Thanks for your help, but I am going to look on my own now."
It's not a personal relationship and (basic human decency aside) you have no need to please them.
But don't categorically reject all salespeople. Maybe go to better stores where there are higher quality folks at work?
It's not a matter of wanting to please someone. It's a matter of not having to deal with someone who's attempting to push the envelope of polite social interaction with a sales pitch. Even a low pressure sales pitch gets on my nerves. Not because it's going to work (quite the opposite).
I understand, sometimes they are just obnoxious and that's just not how you want to shop. I definitely see what you are saying.
I think this is why online shopping has been so successful. Amazon reviews are actually a great way of figuring out what is good and what is bad, in a totally objective way.
I almost always ask for a recommendation or tip in regards to the menu items. Good waitstaff will also enjoy helping you and take some interest in making sure you have a nice meal.
True, this won't be the case at most large chains, but I eat there only under duress anyway.
Instead of staring at the menu for 5 minutes (while your dear friend, or wife, or parent) is right there with you, just glance at it, get a few ideas, and then ask the waiter:
"I'm pretty hungry. The chicken looks good, is it <insert feared or desired quality here: heavy, filling, too cheesy, high quality meat>?"
Or with wine: "I love jammy Zinfandels: berry berry all the way! Do you have anything like this?"
Once you start interacting with waiters in this way, you hea out into the country and go to Big Boy or whatever, and you get this surly, timid young person, and you ask your questions, and they look at you like you're from Mars.
And you realize: this person (probably very nice person), but this person has never really learned what a waiter is.
It's really about interacting with people, putting them at ease, helping them navigate the menu, allowing them to focus on the people they are with. It's far more than just accepting orders and bringing food like a robot.
Anyways: people in retail stores are also like this and you should be able to use them to find better things to buy than you otherwise would.
They can be a great help and smart people will take advantage of their help.