I was getting ready to submit this link too. Really poignant, especially since he works at W+K.

Maybe she was bored. Not everyone is delighted to see their relatives. I know a couple of friends who hated seeing their aunts or grandmas :-)

exactly.

you don't have to be on the computer when you're not working. you don't even have to be on the computer for work -- you can find another job outside the industry if you really want to. you don't have to take your cell phone with you everywhere.

its obviously not always quite as simple as that, but often times, it is. if you're tired of something and don't want to do it anymore, find a way to stop doing it.

I can only suspect they are texting about popularity. Makes me thing is there is a market in there - relieve them from having to text all the time by showing them their popularity in some other way.

Or at least give them a popularity meter according to their text frequency ;-)

I have sent you a text message or two and got a response! And I've been tempted to try an IM...

> It comes down to tact, an I don't think there are any "rules" to applying it.

Actually, there are rules, and they're called "etiquette".

It's a cached lookup table of what millions of other people have already decided is tactful, and what is not.

Etiquette, like lookup tables, serves two purposes:

1) it spares you a lot of computation to arrive at results that are already known

2) it implements the DRY principle

Etiquette serves a bonus third purpose:

3) helps you avoid the temptation to justify whatever sort of selfish bad behavior appeals to you at the moment via bogus reasoning. If people "just DO NOT EVER text at a funeral", then you can remember that fact and avoid concluding that "if they really really need to check on how the WoW guild raid is going, they can".

It's a generation gap thing. Most people I know will text at the dinner table; it's socially acceptable among peers.

I'm understand, but I still don't understand.

If you need to communicate a small amount of data in a fairly urgent manner, then texting makes perfect sense.

But I just don't understand the constant texting and vibrating. How is it socially acceptable to prefer the company of those not there over those who are? If you'd rather be with someone else, go be with them. Otherwise, enjoy the company of those you're with. You'll see the others soon enough.

That's a pretty common misconception that older folk have. And you're simplifying the social connection framework to something it's not. It's not that cut and dry. I don't rank my friends on a gradient based on company preference. Every relationship is unique. And beyond that, we grew up with cellphones as the mobile information carriers in our pockets. To us, cellphones are a constant in all social situations, so we're accustomed to it.

I guess I have to plead guilty to being an "older folk" then. I feel it is rude of me to constantly ignore the person/people I am with.

Please note that I said Constantly. A quick look at the clock, or, as the case may be for me, the caller id of the incoming call, is a little rude, but most people will overlook it. They do not miss the event, however.

The best conversations, or even time spent, with anyone always have my full attention. To me, it's like the movie theater. I go there to suspend belief. If someone wants to talk the whole time, they are in the wrong place.

It can probably be linked back to Dale Carnegie's book. :)

I grew up with it too, but I'm not rude enough to talk on the cellphone or text or otherwise ignore the people I'm physically with.

Imagine the following:

You're out at a bar with a couple of friends. A few minutes after you've gotten there, another friend of yours comes in. He comes over, you say him, exchange a few quick words, and he nods to your friends and heads back to his group.

Now, by acknowledging him, you're not giving your other friends your full attention. It might have been a little insensitive of you not to introduce him, but he was clearly in a rush. I don't consider this particularly rude, and I fail to see how texting is much different. There is context - at a nice restaurant, you probably would want to introduce him to the rest of your friends. In most contexts, though, a quick acknowledgment of other people is entirely acceptable, and texting isn't much different.

If you're materially distracted by texting or phone conversation, that's different. But I see no reason to say that I have to ignore everybody else I know when I'm with you.

Now imagine a line of friends, each coming by about once every 5 minutes or so.

This is known as a "party", and lots of people prefer it to other forms of socializing, and those people can now have their party at the same time as the rest of us are having a quiet evening with a couple of friends. I don't text much, but this seems like a win/win to me.

Unrelatedly, I find it very difficult to resist using "link" in the same way I used to use "reply", since "reply" is no longer reliably there (intentionally on a delay, I know). Maybe it's just me.

It's a party if everybody is doing it. But if you're the only one doing it, it's rude.

Haven't you ever been called into a manager's office, only to have them be constantly interrupted every few minutes by a phone call, pager beep, email, or somebody coming by while you tried to explain something detailed to them? Was this a practical use of time for either of you? Is this something you would want to use as an example of a normal conversation?

Sure, I'd have that happen all the time if I tried to explain things orally very much. In fact, I'd suggest that for a lot of people, that is normal conversation now, especially in the workplace, but increasingly outside of it, too. If you want to explain something detailed or complex, you use an email, wiki page, or bug tracking system comment.

I admit to being annoyed when I'm trying to have a deep conversation with someone and their devices keep interrupting, though, and it can seem rude if there's anything more than small talk involved. I've been chalking this up to being over 30, though, and suppressing my irritation. :)

Oh sure, it can get rude. There is a limit. I was speaking more to the occasional text reply. I do agree with you that conversations in front of others is quite rude.

Just to clarify:

What I'm saying is that my phone is usually OFF when I'm with friends. This is why it infuriates me so much when people use theirs around me.

How it's acceptable is by finding friends who are okay with it.

Then again, I agree very much that if all you have is those friends then how can you find depth in any relationship if everything and everyone is allowed to interrupt your time together?

This infuriates me more than almost any other social faux pas. This, and people talking on their cellphone in the car. ESPECIALLY people talking on the cellphone in the car.

I have to turn the radio down, and I have to pretend that I'm not listening to your conversation. When you're finished, am I allowed to comment on what you were just talking about?

Here is an idea, if the two of us must share a dinner table, or a car, put your freaking phone on silent, you are not THAT important and neither is anybody else.

On another note, I am starting to believe that our generation is becoming culturally dead. I was recently at a "Rabbit in The Moon" show. Its a visual/audio spectacular/rave type of thing. Think big flame throwing half naked women, a guy in a giant hamster ball, and just general craziness.

YOu know what drove me absolutely, completely, positively insane? It wasn't the teenagers on ecstacy in their "cuddle puddles" or the half-naked dudes running around trying to sell me drugs, it was the morons in the front row more pre-occupied with trying to pop off a photo with their telephone than with the absolutely fantastic show they could have been witnessing.

WTF Is wrong with people? Is the crappy, grainy video with bad sound of the show that you can post on your myspace page so that your friends thing you're cool REALLY more important to you than actually EXPERIENCING what is going on around you?

Is that what it has become now? It isn't the experience, it is bragging about the experience to people on the internet.

It makes me sad :(.

The bragging part is especially true for girls.

I'd say girls have the majority of the pictures on Facebook.

Not all young people are okay with it. "Texting at the dinner table" still requires a degree of social tact.

A good rule of thumb for me is that texting is acceptable for coordinating the next move in the evening, but texting people completely unrelated to the current company is not.

I think I might be one of the few young people that is not okay with text messages at all.

If you need something from me, you can either call me, or send me an email...

Chances are, if you're compressing it into 140 characters, that it isn't that important.

If it IS that important, why the HELL are you sending it to me over some stateless, hacked together part of the cell spec that was intended to be used for sending out signal strength info instead of...I don't know...CALLING me?

Back in my day it was rude to even have your phone out at dinner. One would switch it off.

I still wouldn't get my phone out in 'polite' company, but am happily Tweeting/emailing/browsing when out with friends, largely because most of them do the same!