I love code that does what it's supposed to and can be understood and maintained. If design patterns contribute to that, great. But a lot of the programming I see is makework that lets mediocre programmers feel productive while at best not contributing to the project, and at worst (and more commonly) burying needed but poorly implemented functionality in a writhing mass of crap.

In general, I find people who use crappy variable names also write code that doesn't actually work.

The classicist and patternist use insanely long variable names (index or iterator or myForLoopIterator instead of i, say) that convey no information and write code that doesn't actually work and, frequently, fails in convoluted ways that separate cause from effect by splitting implementations of simple features across multiple functions, classes, and/or source files.