Not necessarily. Some soloists (particularly violinists) deliberately tune slightly sharper than the orchestra they're playing with, because the difference in tone allows them to cut through more easily.
You may be aware that baroque instruments tune to A=415 -- even worse! :) But it's a half-step lower than A=440 so maybe it wouldn't sound wrong to you.
tune to the soloist no matter what
Not necessarily. Some soloists (particularly violinists) deliberately tune slightly sharper than the orchestra they're playing with, because the difference in tone allows them to cut through more easily.