I don't consult anymore, I have a SaaS company now. But when I was consulting I got to the point where I had a small, loyal group of clients who always needed work every month and always paid their bills without complaint. I would pick up new clients very selectively. I also employed a few developers and had payroll to meet.
Of course I could fire any of my clients at any time, but it would have only been harmful to my business. They were great clients and I wanted nothing but to keep them happy. Thus the "illusion" of freedom as I mentioned.
I was in very much your situation a year ago or so.
An "illusion of freedom" would imply that you think you're free, but in reality you are shackled. However, you not firing your clients was a choice. And I guess it wouldn't have been so bad for your business as much as it would have forced you to look for new clients with whom to create new relationships from the beginning.
To turn this into a potentially idiotic analogy, let's put it in terms of a romantic relationship: If not being married gives you the freedom to easily move onto a different relationship, it doesn't become an "illusion" just because you don't break up. You're still free to do it, you just need to justify it to yourself.
Of course I could fire any of my clients at any time, but it would have only been harmful to my business. They were great clients and I wanted nothing but to keep them happy. Thus the "illusion" of freedom as I mentioned.