Joking aside, I think in American culture it's often more important to say "I did $x badly" than "I'm sorry about $x". I feel like many American's (especially in white collar work) assume a certain cut throat mentality and don't believe that you are actually sorry, but they do agree you fucked up. Generally when talking to people you want them to be mentally agreeing with you and not thinking that you're lying to them.
And the car crash thing is just litigation, it doesn't apply to 99% of screwups.
Empty apologies are empty. They need to know that the issue is "owned," regretted, a solution/amend is offered, and it won't happen again. Not a fun time.
Americans, in my experience, don't care. They just find satisfaction in being a bit "better than" I am, and their reactions are purely emotion-driven. They usually would try to pile extra transgressions (that I was not responsible for) onto my apology. Lots of shaming involved.
It was annoying, but I got used to not reacting. Since most of my bosses were Japanese (not really a fun bunch to work for), I didn't need to face the music with Americans too often.
I will say that the end result was that I was given an awesome level of trust and respect. It was the kind very few foreigners ever have.
What profession were you in? I’ve worked at ~10 software companies throughout my career and fessing up to causing an issue was seen as much worse than admitting you fucked up.
I was an engineer and a manager of software development for a very well-known, arch-conservative Japanese optics corporation.
I worked there for just shy of 27 years. LOTS of 14-hour flights (shudder).
But I am not Japanese, so it's quite possible they treated me differently from others.
My experience was, they had a difficult time, trusting non-Japanese. They tended to pull me in, when dealing with westerners.
It was not a "peaches and cream" job. In many ways, it was quite difficult and stressful, but I was in a "silo" of extremely honorable, incredibly high-quality people for a couple of decades.
In all, it was a very different experience than many Americans have had. I am glad for the experience, but also relieved to have it behind me. Although I am an excellent manager, I am most comfortable developing software. Being good at something is not the same as being happy doing it.
I'm not-so-bad at software development, but it's a much bigger pond.
Coming from that corporation, into the modern development landscape in the US has been a...revelation.
Not especially. It is a corporation that is very protective of its privacy and secrets.
I tend not to name it, even though it's fairly easy to figure out.
I don't want to cause them any stress or harm. Even though I wish things had gone somewhat differently, I retain the greatest respect for the corporation, and its employees and officers.
I don’t mention them by name, so my comments don’t show up on their radar screen.
I don’t think I ever say anything that would be an issue, but I don’t want to be in the position of having to explain myself. They protect their brand ferociously.
Unless it's followed by "that you're an idiot" ;)
Joking aside, I think in American culture it's often more important to say "I did $x badly" than "I'm sorry about $x". I feel like many American's (especially in white collar work) assume a certain cut throat mentality and don't believe that you are actually sorry, but they do agree you fucked up. Generally when talking to people you want them to be mentally agreeing with you and not thinking that you're lying to them.
And the car crash thing is just litigation, it doesn't apply to 99% of screwups.