Partly this. When I lived in St. Louis I lived right next to a homeless shelter. I'd hang out with some while waiting for steet food to be cooked (the dudes sleeping on the step to my condo). I often would offer them food. They usually turned me down. I asked one and the reason was that if they had food that gave them the runs they were in deep trouble. So most of them preferred very regular meals even if they were crappy cafeteria like food from the shelter as that food was not going to mess with their digestive.
In India, my grandparents used to set up a make shift stall every Friday(or a day chosen monthly to honor ancestors) and take cooked food to distribute to anyone who is hungry.
Everyone did this..so every community will always have free food available everyday at temples or outside places of worship.
It doesn’t matter if you are a beggar or a devotee who has come to the temple to offer prayers. It is for anyone who is hungry. To feed the hungry shouldn’t be on the basis of whether they ‘deserve it or not’.
However, the principle was always that ‘I am here with food. Please take what you want.’ The offer is an out stretched hand but the one who wants it must ask. It is not the duty of the giver to offer unsolicited food or drink or help.
I think charity and generosity is different from cultivating and preserving a Saviour Complex.
Meanwhile..here in America, children can’t open a lemonade stand without a permit. Otoh, everyone pays hefty taxes as a form of mandatory charity. So there’s that..
> To feed the hungry shouldn’t be on the basis of whether they ‘deserve it or not’.
But that wasn't my point, it's not about "who's deserving of what". It's about dying of thirst in the desert and turning down somebody offering you water because you insist on getting Gatorade instead.
At that point it's not about "deserving" anymore but it's very much entitlement. It also means whoever is dying of thirst there either doesn't have their priorities right or they ain't actually dying of thirst if they can still be so picky to demand Gatorade over water.
Or to apply it to your example of food being handed out at temples: Imagine if somebody turned down all that food on offer, while insisting that they get exactly the dish they want like in an à la carte restaurant.
Don't you think that would come across as tone-deaf and entitled?
I agree. That’s why my rule is to give only when asked and only if it’s within my ability..otherwise it’s just a savior complex.
And people turn down food all the time. It means they can go without food for another day! Good for them! There are others who need what is on offer. I try to focus on my ability rather than their need. It’s 7.5+ billion people..Can’t help everyone!
Or maybe just reaching out a helping hand to fellow human being that's apparently in need? If that leads to everybody involved being even slightly better off, why should that be considered some kind of negative complex?
On that front, human pride and societal norms can be very weird beasts: Way too many people who would really need the help of somebody else, often are either too proud or too scared to actually ask for that helping hand. Too hard-coded is the fear of appearing vulnerable/embarrassed, particularly in-front of strangers.
At least that's something I've noticed in Western societies, where begging (which is also a form of asking) is often considered some kind of scam and with demands to never support it by actually giving anything.
Sure. Everyone should do that which feels right to them. There is no universal rule.
I was just sharing why my lived experience makes me less susceptible to knee jerk automatic charity that relies on reading outward signaling. Everyone is different.
