Your initial attempts were to "put yourself in their shoes" which is a bit impossible if you don't know about what ADHD is like.
The disconnect you experienced was an artifact of the "false consensus effect." You imagined how you would feel in their shoes, and what you would find helpful.
So it wasn't the limits of empathy, but rather the limits of your own understanding and awareness.
Once you learn about their experiences, then you can use empathy to learn from them and reason about them.
Your initial attempts were to "put yourself in their shoes" which is a bit impossible if you don't know about what ADHD is like.
The disconnect you experienced was an artifact of the "false consensus effect." You imagined how you would feel in their shoes, and what you would find helpful.
So it wasn't the limits of empathy, but rather the limits of your own understanding and awareness.
Once you learn about their experiences, then you can use empathy to learn from them and reason about them.