One, it's unexpected that someone seems to actually be interested in you. This may be projection as well, of course, because I am not actually interested in most people. People ask "How's your weekend been?" to me, but I don't ask that of others myself - one, I don't care, and two, how someone else spends their spare time is none of my business.
And two, it's awareness of these interpersonal techniques (e.g. Carnegie's book) to make friends, influence people, and sell them something - in other words, ulterior motives instead of genuine interest. Building rapport. It feels like an act.
Three, hopefully an edge case, I knew one guy who made it really overt that he only asked you how your day / weekend was so he could talk about his. I wasn't playing because I thought he was a prick, and I didn't care about his weekend, and was uncomfortable talking about my spare time, especially because there was no genuine interest but instead a segue into boasting.
> Ut recitem tibi nostra rogas epigrammata. Nolo. Non audire, Celer, sed recitare cupis.
> You ask that I recite to you my epigrams. I refuse: you don't want to listen, Celer, but to recite your own.
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It's not the same, but a similar thing I want to mention in case reading the parent comment makes awkward people feel awkward about asking people about their days in case it's perceived as mercenary: I have a friend who is a bit ADHD-ish, and gets caught up with his own interests. I greatly enjoy talking to him regardless, but I know when he stops himself and asks me about what's going on in my life that's a very conscious decision on his part - and I appreciate it all the more for that.
> This may be projection as well, of course, because I am not actually interested in most people.
Bingo. Not everyone is interested in medieval history, but some are fascinated by it. Some people don't care about the specifics of their friends'/colleagues' weekends, others are genuinely curious. To each their own.
And, yeah, some people are just socially engineering or, or just waiting for their turn to talk (John Mulaney has a funny bit about that)... but it's not all of us, I promise. And I think those people are fairly likely to identify themselves via other adjacent failings of character.
One, it's unexpected that someone seems to actually be interested in you. This may be projection as well, of course, because I am not actually interested in most people. People ask "How's your weekend been?" to me, but I don't ask that of others myself - one, I don't care, and two, how someone else spends their spare time is none of my business.
And two, it's awareness of these interpersonal techniques (e.g. Carnegie's book) to make friends, influence people, and sell them something - in other words, ulterior motives instead of genuine interest. Building rapport. It feels like an act.
Three, hopefully an edge case, I knew one guy who made it really overt that he only asked you how your day / weekend was so he could talk about his. I wasn't playing because I thought he was a prick, and I didn't care about his weekend, and was uncomfortable talking about my spare time, especially because there was no genuine interest but instead a segue into boasting.