The 5-paragraph essay is the larval form of the 6-page research paper. As a scientist, you will similarly face reprimands from reviewers if you deviate from the format.
Most people will encounter venues where they need to conform to arbitrary and seemingly pointless formats in order to publish there. Becoming comfortable doing so without throwing a fit is a skill that needs to be learned to operate in modern society.
I didn't mean to say it's you throwing a fit, I meant to say that students are throwing fits. Unless you're a student? Sorry I didn't convey that clearly.
I wouldn't say that the purpose of the 5-paragaph essay is to teach clear writing. It serves the same purpose as mandating a format for a conference; no format mandate means you get N formats, which makes evaluating them much harder.