He should not censor himself. If a person doesn't like what he/she is hearing he/she can just go somewhere else. Nobody is forcing him/her to stand next to him and to listen to his sex jokes.
Hard to find another place to go when there's always someone that seems to forget the meaning of the word "context".
And you just deleted your line about "fugly girls" being the only ones to complain... if I'm so fugly for wanting people to be more considerate to each other, boy, there are a lot of people out there that are willing to hit on me anyway, inappropriately.
I deleted the fulgy comment following the advice of the pro-tip. I agree, context has a lot to do with what is appropriate and inappropriate to say. That being said, I think we can agree that a conference setting is different than a workplace setting. A lot of people go to conferences for fun. Mix alcohol in with that and you are going to have a party. A party with alcohol can lead to stuff like what happened - jokes/comments being said that might offend people. Don't like the jokes or comments? Leave. Nobody is forcing you to stay there. I've been in those kinds of situations and guess what, I just get up and leave.
And if it's at a conference, I don't have a choice because I'm paying to go and learn something. If it's an afterparty, I have to miss out on spending time with people I wouldn't get a chance to see easily otherwise. I also miss out on general networking and business opportunities galore, not to mention whatever good food and drinks and music is around. What am I going to do? Go sulk in my hotel room or go home, or wander around until my ride is ready to go? Find another party with yet another asshole?
Or should I just try to drill this into peoples' heads: Nobody should ever have to be the one that leaves a party because they're offended by one person out of tens/hundreds. It's every partygoer's obligation not to be an asshole to others. The asshole can leave or shut up and apologize if necessary.
You don't have to leave the party, just walk to another area. I agree it's not ideal but sometimes that's what needs to be done. I agree partygoer's shouldn't be assholes (or cunts).
You have quite a way of expressing yourself. Hopefully at the next conference I can sit next to you and let you know just how much I enjoy your opinions. You can always leave if it bothers you.
I like to play devil's advocate every now and then to see how people react. That being said, I am a true believer in freedom of speech. It's a double edged sword though as it gives people the right to say inappropriate and inconsiderate things. But I'll take that any day over censorship. I don't go to conferences as I prefer user group meetings.
> I like to play devil's advocate every now and then to see how people react
Easily interpreted as trolling. I think you're doing yourself a disservice.
One person telling another to "shut it" is not censorship. Both have a right to speak their minds. Censorship is when you're told by someone with authority that what you're saying/writing/expressing should not be expressed for whatever set of reasons.
You telling someone to "just go away" is equal to this.
There's a standard in the US that your right to free speech shall be upheld but not in the case of hate speech or insighting unrest and violence (also known as trolling). This is for very good reason (ask Weev what he thinks) - which is that we need some form of law to protect us from one person riling up a mob to violence, or a single deranged person from stalking and harassing another.
Trolling a community to provoke thought and discourse is a time-honored profession that predates the internet by millennia (Jesus is often considered one of the best trolls in history).
Taking a contrary position "just because" or for sport is rude. But it's tolerated. How much of me would you like to tolerate in person? Here, online, I'm just a name in a message thread. In person it's a whole different deal. You have rights to protect you from my thoughts, and I have rights to express those thoughts.
Yes, a conference is different than a workplace setting – you're surrounded by people you don't know and therefore, you need to watch what you say because you don't have any rapport to fall back on when you (possibly accidentally) cross a line.
It seems especially sad that we're willing to allow the marginal at best behavior of a few be reason that others should have to get up and leave.
Women should not have to stay sequestered in their own homes because some men are inconsiderate assholes.
How would you feel if you were at a convention populated mostly by 7' tall gay weight lifters, and one of them shouted "Hey, nice ass!" at you? I bet you'd feel pretty damn uncomfortable. That's pretty much how it feels to be a woman, not just at these conventions, but in the world at large.
Note: I am a 6'1 175 pound male. It's hard for me to conceive of what it's like to be a woman who is 5'2" and 120 pounds... that's why the 7' tall gay weightlifter analogy... it's the only translation that works in my head. Seriously, think about it. They're way bigger than you, way stronger than you, they think you have a tasty ass (or not, but for some reason they feel the need to sexualize you), and you definitely are not interested in them... and they're all around you all the time.
Also note: I'm not actually trying to say real gay people want your ass. They probably don't.
Funny you bring up that analogy. Actually, I have been hit on by gay guys. To be honest, I find it pretty funny. My girlfriend laughs about it too as she has seen it happen to me at the supermarket. BTW, you can generalize your statement to "people should not have to stay sequestered in their own homes because some people are inconsiderate assholes or cunts." I agree with that statement. I never said a person should stay home. I just said they should leave the area where the sexist jokes/comment are being said.
