* Starting with "Greetings" makes me think of the nerd from The Simpsons.

* "KICKASS" really?

* Terrible attention to detail: Geocities not capitalized, no space between popular and the open parenthesis, "I've Spent" capitalization, random use of present tense in job descriptions, the first entry under My Services is blank, etc.

* Irrelevant information. Massage therapy?

Strip all that down and write in a dry, active voice. I want to know what you're good at immediately. I don't want to wade through a wall of conversational text.

Why is there a photo at all? If you're going to have a photo, make it look good. If you're going to put on a collared shirt and tie, it should fit close to your neck rather than having a fist-width of space in there.

But your opinion is, of course, yours. I would suggest being more specific on these jobs either way, so that people like me will not be scared off on their first read of the job titles.

I would honestly ctrl+A delete all of that and restart. If that's what people have been seeing while you've been trying to find a job, I'm not surprised you're having some trouble.

Your resume is scattered in tone and content, and inconsistently formatted: it's a bad audition for a detail-oriented solo-web-dev project. Your prior HN posts suggest a roller coaster of cash problems plus unrealistic hopes over just the last 30 days.

This suggests to me you're a bit too panicked to be planning properly. You may need someone friendly or professional to talk to, locally, as much or more than a job.

You should be seeking stability in your living and working situation above all else, so that you can regain perspective. That means avoiding solo freelancing, long-shot startup ideas, or quick money-raisers. Seek a simpler job, where you go into an office and are surrounded by a larger collaborating team, and your minimal basic needs are met. Do that for at least 6 months to a year to regain a non-panicked perspective.

Unless you're fortunate enough to stumble upon a web development shop with no internet connection, it's unlikely that you're going to be hired in the role you're hoping for. Since panhandling doesn't quite seem to be working out either [2], you may want to start thinking about taking any honest work you can find. Your opportunities will surely improve once you have grown up a bit. Good luck.

[1] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7588059 [2] https://twitter.com/patrickcurl

"Am I an expert? Nah - But I know where to get free access to developers, and devops, when I hit the inevitable brick wall(IRC CHAT) and I'm always focused on learning how things work."

Don't give people reasons not to hire you. Take that off, make the page about why you're awesome, not why I shouldn't hire you.

Also there are grammatical errors on the page, which don't look good. If you want I can proof read it for you. I'm (edit: not) the greatest at that, but I'll see if my wife can help. Also your resume... it looks cool but I found it super confusing to read. Recruiters often times are looking through massive piles of resumes, whatever you can do to make it easier to see why you're awesome you should do.

Finally if you are about to be homeless look into any emergency shelters in the area. I used to work in affordable housing it can be a wait sometimes to get into a shelter. I wish I could help more. Let me do some research tonight.

I could help you identify comma splices, sentence fragments, incomplete sentences, unnecessary use of ellipses, introductory clauses, and run-on sentences.

Once you have that sorted, your interview approach will probably relax a bit, as I am guessing it might be coming across to potential recruiters/employers as "help - need job now!" - whilst in a perverse kind of way, most employers seem to give preference to those that don't even need the job but are tempted to change. Make sure you play it cool, calm, professional.

Next, don't provide any obvious reasons for your resume/application to be quicksorted to /dev/null. Remove any photos, non-related qualifications, make sure all the dates line up, account for any gaps (i.e. training and consulting for example), double and treble check spelling and grammar, and unlike my post here - keep it short and to the point! :-)

Ask a trusted friend/colleague to interview you. Ask them to be hard, but fair. Ask them to interview you with an eye on your personal communication skills, and on your technical abilities. Ask them for honest feedback. Do not get down hearted if you hear some constructive comments. Make sure it is constructive, not destructive though! Make points to work on your interview and technical skills, then redo the interview again a few days later to see how it improves.

Finally, good luck. Remember - you are selling yourself on how you can solve the business problems and add value. The technical skills are just tools you leverage to achieve that. You are more than a bag of skills, and you need to get that message across.

Keep it objective. They don't care you think you are a kickass Rails developer and they will not react positively to what they can interpret as a big ego.

There's a book to read "Winning Through Intimidation" by Rbert J. Ringer.

It is not a book about how to intimidate people, it's about not being intimidated by people.

One of the chapters addresses the issue of "promises".

We have an Algerian proverb that says "Ti9a fil wati9a". Meaning: Trust lies in the document. Which means: Make it clear, black on white, on a document.. Meaning: Get a lawyer. Meaning also: The only lawyer you have is the one you pay. (Don't assume the company lawyer is yours).

I was a kid when my brother had a company and built buildings based on word. Once he had a deal with some old man, very respectable and well known figure. I asked him why they didn't sign a contract and he said that the man is honorable, and I asked "What if he changes". He smiled to the child I was. He eventually got screwed by this very honorable man.

A lawyer also serves as a dissuasive measure taking out the sign on your forehead saying "I'm a pigeon".

Also, try oil or oil services companies. The pay is good (you're basically taken care of completely) and you don't need cutting edge tech. They also like to hire Junior people (they're like one of the few who actually massively hire people without experience because turnover is huge).

I think most people aren't sure what you're being dishonest about, but they can tell that there's something up.

Real software employers will generally not hire anyone that they can smell a lot of dishonesty on, because they have to put a lot of trust in you. Besides your impact on their company through your contributions, you're usually given access to a lot of sensitive information.

I can empathize with you because I'm pretty sure you came from a poor background, and that's the only culture you're really aware of. I did too, and I would like it if it was a lot easier for poor people to make a living in tech.

Unfortunately you can't make a successful career as a bullshitter. Some people can, but that isn't your strong point. You have to understand someone's culture better than they understand it to be a good bullshitter, and you don't understand buisness culture well enough to do it.

All the advice here is good.

Also, it's cool that you wrote your own framework, but right now, the jobs that map to your skills are Wordpress and Rails jobs. Your framework is an example of your capabilities.

You're a Rails/Wordpress developer, X years of Rails experience, Y years in the computer industry. You have Z academic experience relating to the field.

Your code examples probably should be on github.

Understand that making your representation quirky does you no good unless the hiring manager wants quirky. I've not met one who wants that yet.

You need to be precise, clear, lucid, humble, and confident. Clearly express what you're good at, and don't focus on the weak areas.

For your resume, take a look at Rands' "A Glimpse and a Hook".

Most Rails developers are finding its a VERY hot field, so I would encourage you to introspect as to why that isn't the case with you. Maybe attend Toastmasters or something?

Good luck.

By "my framework" he means "the one I know".

Did you not attend interviews in the last week? In the alternative, have you lined up interviews? How many?

Did you not line up any interviews in the last week? In the alternative, have you identified people with the authority to hire Ruby on Rails engineers? How many? By what process are you identifying them? After identifying them, what compelling offer are you making them? Since most people with hiring authority are in the toughest market ever for people attempting to hire developers with experience shipping applications, they should be willing to take coffee dates with you.

You will not get most of your leads for coffee dates through your resume. In fact, if you could take your resume off the Internet, that would probably be in your favor. It does not currently suggest that you are going to be a successful candidate for a white collar position. You should not put your resume back on the Internet until it highlights your professional accomplishments. When put your resume back on the Internet, it will be absolutely devoid of errors in spelling, punctuation, word choice, professional tone, and grammar.

You mention that you have previous experience with SEO, social media, and shipping applications. You should be comfortable with discussing specific successes which you have had with this. If you do not have specific successes which you can talk about, do not mention SEO/social media/etc, and instead focus on the fact that you have successfully shipped applications. In the current environment, years of experience with successfully shipping commercial applications makes you substantially more experienced than the bar for junior developers.

If you actually have made people money with SEO and you can also code, you should know that your skill set is white hot right now. You should be contacting people whose businesses would benefit from that combination of skills, tell them how they would benefit in a similar fashion as other people you have worked with by having you implement brief sketch goes here, and then attempting to convince them to hire you.

When you are speaking to people in the industry, do not mention the words "homeless", "inexperienced", "spaghetti", or anything else which suggests that you are desperate for a job. You are not desperate for a job. You are a white collar professional with a skillset which is in incredible demand at the moment. You should carry yourself like that.

The following suggests substantial technical competence at multiple levels, which is both above the level which you self-identify as and is not hinted to elsewhere in the resume:

Features of CRM: Shopping Cart, API for Bookscouter etc to pull in quotes, Sort and Filter orders using AngularJS, Sort and Filter Files assigned to Buyers(payroll, etc..), Drag and drop files, and assign files to buyers using inline editing.

Api's used: Amazon Product API for book data, UPS Shipping API for shipping labels.

Cache/Sessions: Redis.

Server Stack: 2 App Servers w/ content duplicated via GlusterFS and served up via nodebalancers. 1 Central Storage Server for Redis, File Uploads, Analytics(Piwik), Mysql(Master). All reads come from a local mysql slave, w/ writes going to the master. Nginx + php5-fpm php5.4 + APC + Varnish.

The following contains specific examples of business value which you've created with your SEO/marketing skills, as opposed to the body of the resume, which says "Managed many wordpress installations, and seo marketing campaigns for multiple sites.":

Achieved 1st rank in google for keyword 'final expense'. Made all technical decisions and handled everything relating to the web properties.

That's an unfortunate way to phrase that accomplishment, since many people do not work in insurance and don't realize that what you really accomplished was:

"Created a system which produced insurance leads, adding hundreds of thousands of dollars of revenue per $TIME_INTERVAL. The system operated at zero marginal cost per acquisition, a substantial improvement over the industry standard of spending 30% of gross revenue on acquisition."

Please seriously consider taking down your personal website as well. In five minutes of glancing through your blog entries I found too many glaring "do not hire" flags to mention here. You seem like a decent sort of person, and I mean this with all due respect. Good luck in your search.

The very first image on the personal site shows badly aligned PHP code (the if statement isn't aligned with the assignment above it). I wouldn't be able to make it past that if I had a stack of 20 resumes to whittle down.

Before we were sure we were even going to be accepted to BoomStartup, I had been going to about 10 interviews per week, I'm on the jr side my strong point is Laravel, but I was willing to interview/learn more Rails. I spent over 1000 just in gas travelling between Salt Lake, Sandy, and PRovo Utah for job interviews in the month of April alone. I've also been connecting with individuals at local Meetups, and online via User Groups I belong to in the area. Thanks for the advice, I'll work on my resume, and soft skills.

This gives a decent free tier of service, but there are others: http://capsulecrm.com/

One handy feature was I could cc: it on my emails to recruiters and it would keep a copy of the email under that contract.

Also remove the $70K Salary Requirement.

There's nothing I'd give myself a 5 out of 5 on after my 20 years of work.

i love this cult of personality viewpoint in favor of conformity.

  1. Make a list of local places you might want to work.
  2. Print out resumes.
  3. Go to the office, and hand resume over to front desk.

Top of your resume, put evidence you can do the job.

"These projects prove that I can do the job:

  1. Launched project using php.  http://1.example.com/
  2. Made Y for client doing X.  http://2.example.com/
  3. Shipped X. http://3.example.com/

"

-- You will get call backs, and interviews on the spot at some of the places. No one else is doing this. --

I'm not going to wish you luck. Since I know after reading this, you will get off your arse and make it happen.

Now. Get going!

If you are desperate for cash and have some skills, maybe try to pick up some ~$500-1000 jobs on:

Freelancer.com, Guru.com, Elance.com, Odesk, etc.

Also, why are you "evil"?

There's nothing on there about what you've achieved, what your responsibilities were in any of them. Nada.

And the guesses that can be made about why you've had so many jobs, and how you've been working for multiple companies at the same time, are unlikely to be complimentary.

Where are you located? I haven't worked w/ PHP for 8 years and I'm really not sure what the market looks like but learning other newer technologies such as Rails could potentially make a much big market available to you.

I know in the Bay Area, Jr Rails engineers are in super high demand.

He's also a Ruby on rails developer looking at his resume: resume.patrickcurl.com

I am a PHP developer currently, and I don't mind switch over between languages (Java/Python/Ruby), but I do think that the market is bigger for PHP developers vs Ruby. (not sure about the bay area although, it could be different there).

You need to edit/improve your "online presence" IMMEDIATELY - the longer these bad examples of your work stay online, the more chance is that someone will see them. Start going through the suggestions already provided here for edits and improvements and make changes as soon as possible.

As someone else already said, people can see through your BS. Honesty about your experience and actual skill level will make a bigger impression than anything else.

http://sandiegohomelesssurvivalguide.blogspot.com/

You have been doing this for a decade...and still consider yourself junior?

A 'normal' year of work nets you 2080 hours of work. Thats 52 40 hours weeks.

Mastery of a given topic matter is considered to be around 10,000 hours of work. At that rate, if you have worked a 40 hour job doing something, for 5 years, you should have mastered most of the skills. When I see 'junior' developer, I am used to it being a developer with less than 3 years of experience. I hire people like this, but only for specific needs. My expectations are inline with their experience, and I look at their past work history to get an idea of what level I should expect them to perform at.

Not all people doing technical hiring are that fair minded though. There are many that will see junior, and will move on, because they need someone with more team skills, or skills in architecture, large application development, etc, that they do not expect to see from 'junior' developers.

If someone tells me they have been working on web development related tasks for ten years, but consider themselves junior, then I worry that they have not applied themselves, or stuck to the same job long enough to actually improve their skills, etc. THESE worries...are why I wouldn't hire them. I would have concerns around their ability to grow and learn within my organization, and whether or not the time and money I would pour into their training would pay off in the future with a well skilled and well rounded member on my team, rather than another trip to the well of talent for another junior developer to try to help 'level up' to a different role.

Don't say that.

First, it's incredibly confusing. You have useless information and the relevant information is spread out into a dozen boxes.

1. You don't need to list that you're a male. (I'd also argue you don't need your d.o.b)

2. You don't need the professional area. If you're submitting the resume, the employer already knows what sector you're in. If someone stumbles across the resume, your experience and skills should make it clear what you can do. The box takes up space and it typecasts you.

3. If they see your resume, you're definitely looking for a job. You don't need a whole box to say it.

4. Don't put a salary requirement. Forgetting some people's taboo about explicitly discussing salary, it can only hurt you. Why would any one pay you 80k if you're telling them that they can pay you 60k.

5. The timeline is useless. First, it stops you from providing extra context (I have no idea what Sherman Curl LLC is.) Second, it highlights the 3.5 year gap between Massage Therapist and the rest of your work. It's better to elaborate on a few relevant jobs then to list every thing you've ever done.

6. You don't use the legend on the bottom of the timeline, it just tells me you used resumup. I'm beating a dead horse, but your website should have the visual resume, not the downloadable pdf. Your downloaded resume should just be your relevant information.

7. You say you have a diploma but you do not say what you got it in or where it's from. That whole box is useless.

8. Hobbies in general are extraneous, yours are especially since none of them are close to notable or unique (although they're a lot of fun.) I also have no idea what electronic hobbies are.

9. The language box has nothing in it.

10. Personality traits aren't binary and, as an employer, I'd probably want to make those judgements myself. Your skills and experience are more important.

11. The skills graphs are confusing. I don't want to spend time trying to understand things that could be put in a list format. Finally, you don't fill all of the form boxes in the skill chart.

12. Your url is your resume, which has the same information I'm looking at. I normally would reccomend linking to your homepage, but since you're doing multi-level-marketing on it, I'm not sure where you want the link to point, maybe github.

I think this is harsher then I intended, but it's important for your first impression (your resume) to be a good one.

TL:DR: Your downloadable resume, even more then your digital one, should strictly be relevant information about your name, email, skills and experience.

This is the very first line of your resume ??!!! Are you trolling ?

Don't tell that on your resume.