As an author of dozens of open-source projects, I was really surprised how entitled / rude people can be. I was even told f-word just because I used babel for compiling JS. I was like WTF. Some people act as if they are my paying customers when I get zero compensation from my open source projects. I just share my work because I think they can be useful for some. I don't have any obligations to solve their problems.
This isnt just for you, more of a general thing. Ive seen it a lot in this thread alone.
Creating an OSS project doesn't entitle you to be treated a certain way either. Nothing does. Being entitled at ALL is bad, so expecting good or bad is just a waste.
I try to live more by the "give everything you can, expect nothing in return, be grateful if something comes" mentality. Shitty people are going to be shitty people, and most of them are shitty for a reason - so feel bad for them, not angry or annoyed at them. Nobody WANTS to be an asshole...
I don't want any thank you notes. Never asked and never will. I just don't like people who are rude, and I find them annoying. I don't know what's wrong with feeling annoyed by them being rude to me.
Because being annoyed doesn't affect them, only you.
Choosing to experience negative emotion because someone does something is self-harm.
When you are entitled to something, you expect it, and you can't expect something and be truly appreciative of it at the same time. When you don't expect good though, the bad doesn't upset you, and the good, you actually genuinely appreciate.
"Choosing to experience negative emotion because someone does something is self-harm."
Hi :-) Fascinating comment. Do you really live that, or just it's something you read/heard and aspire to?
Trying to unpack that a little: Calling experiencing negative emotion (i.e. feeling bad) "choosing to experience negative emotion" seems psychobabble. Do you choose all your feelings? I doubt it. So, you will never feel bad because of anything anyone does, because why would you, and that would be self-harm. All that just strikes me as jargon out of a bad self-help book. It doesn't sound human, but like a robot, or maybe a guru. (e.g. Nisargadatta: 'In my world, nothing ever goes wrong.') I guess that's why gurus/monks/priests aren't supposed to have wives, girlfriends, careers, possessions etc. Because ordinary humans do get upset about stuff. And feel good about stuff. The way you call people "someone" and reduce most of life to "someone doing something" I find absolutely chilling.
That last bit about expectation sounds likes the ridiculous pessimism I thought made sense as a child. If you expect things to turn out for the worst, you will never be disappointed. That was before I realized that in life your attitude makes a huge difference to how things turn out. In the real/everyday world of someones doing somethings anyway.
What he's talking about is putting yourself in a mindset of very low expectations to maximize your own happiness.
For example, if your baseline "expectation" of people is that they will be rude and shitty, then you won't become annoyed when someone is rude and shitty to you. And when someone is nice to you, they have exceeded your expectations and it makes you happy.
So what you perhaps "expected" is that people generally would not be rude, which led to your disappointment when you encountered a rude person, which ultimately just generated annoyance/unhappiness for yourself (i.e. their rudeness is static regardless of how it made you feel).
The point is not really to go around bleakly expecting everything to be shit all the time, but just in general, the lower your expectations are, the less power you give people to disappoint and upset you, and the more you appreciate people for exceeding your expectations. It's not really about whether it's "right" or "wrong" to be annoyed at them but just a mindset shift for your own contentment.
Entitlement only leads to disapointment. It's bad all around, from my perspective.
You can't be entitled to something AND appreciate it at the same time. So, a lack of entitlement of being treated well leads to appreciating more when you are treated well.
If nothing else, its a fun sociology/psychology conversation.
This exists everwhere. Just today I heard it from a member of the archery club. He thought he didn't have to help for free, he wants to get salary for helping with preparation for competitions and other things we do. The egoistic culture is here more than ever.
In many Spanish countries we have a similar one: "le das la mano y agarran el codo", which translates "you give them a hand and they'll grab the elbow".
Languages and cultures are such a fascinating thing. How can Polish and Norwegian come up with the same expression, without a shared, common ancestry and the countries not being direct neighbours.
I am from South Korea. There were numerous reports from people on Facebook or other social media that Note 7 replacements were also having battery problems, but Samsung have been trying hard to control Korean newspapers to report them as false reports from "black consumers". It's ridiculous to see how they can manipulate media as they want. I'm glad that Samsung does not have such power outside South Korea.
It wouldn't even have been known to the public, if it happened only in Korea, because they have a complete control of the media in S Korea.
When it first happened it Korea, media tried to dismiss it as if it was a false report by black consumers who are trying to win some money by suing Samsung. I found it pretty funny because, in Korea, you never win against any big companies in the court. There are no scenarios where you can sue a company and win any money. Even if, you do end up winning, it won't be in $millions like in US, but will max $10000, which rarely happens at all. So no sane person will even try.
I am glad that it also happened in US, because Samsung does not have the same control in US as they do in Korea.
The only way for this to be properly investigated is to be done by US, not Korean government.
It was really ridiculous to see how all Korean media praised how great a company Samsung is when they announced a recall.
People are afraid to share anything that talks bad about Samsung, because they believe it will affect them negatively in the future when searching for jobs or such.
I see the whole fiasco to be deeply related to how Samsung is run and controlled by the infamous Lee family.
Note 7's battery is made by Samsung SDI, one of Samsung's subsidiaries, and I assume that SDI gets most of its revenues directly from Samsung Electronics. When you (SDI) have Samsung as your guaranteed customer, you don't really have to compete or try to survive.
Besides, Samsung always set their flagship release dates based on expected Apple's iPhone releases, always trying to ship to market few weeks before Apple.
When your release dates are set to your competitors' pace, not your own, you will certainly make mistakes like this.
The replacement battery is henceforth not made by SDI. Around 30% of the existing Note 7s were made by Amperex Technology, so they only need to increase those numbers.
You're statement would also mean that if you're a department within Apple you also do not need to compete or try to survive. I don't think that's necessarily true. There are probably inefficiencies, but there is also a lot to gain as well. It just depends on the quality of the organization.
That manager should be demoted for losing the best employee and obvious horrible management. If I were the manager, I would come in on that day and do the customer service.
Korean here. Korea is too competitive, and its system is so corrupt that younger people are feeling hopeless and committing suicide. For them, it's the last resort and the only way out of their misery. It's been many years since Korea has taken its place as no.1 in suicidal rate. It's currently the worst time for the younger generations with very high unemployment rate and very low wages ($5 minimum wage while average housing price in Seoul is hitting its record high around $500k).
Yet, what people with power and money are trying is to blame them for not having a "strong" and "positive" mindset.
I once watched a TV show where they gathered up people with failed suicide attempts. They end up saying "love yourself".
Instead of fixing obvious systematic problems, they always blame the poor people and tell them things like "money doesn't buy you a happiness." and "love is a cure to every problem".
It just makes me so angry.
EDIT: They also say things like "Be more appreciative that you were not born in North Korea!"
The unemployment rate for under 25 in places like Spain and Greece is 50%. Why aren't we seeing more suicide there?
I think there's something specific about suicide in the East that we just don't have in the West for whatever reason. There's a sort of social acceptance of it, but here, there's no tolerance of it. Maybe there's more resources for depressed people in the West as mental illness is beginning to shed its stigma since the start of things like psychoanalysis and the mainstreaming of therapy and anti-depressants. These things may not have properly made it to Asia. Not to mention, societies based on Confucianism put so much emphasis on shame that a reasonable way out of it is to just kill yourself. The idea of treating mental illness and challenging suicide acceptance may be culturally repellant and tough to challenge. Japan also suffers from this and is famous for its suicide forests and very high suicide rate.
Students in Korea study until midnight or later since middle school. I've done that before I moved to US. Most of my friends did it.
You do that for six years until you are eligible to take the nationwide exam that is held once a year.
Similar to SAT, but with many more subjects and more depth.
If you are sick or feeling nervous on that day, then good luck. Take it again next year or a year after.
It's very common that you end up taking the exam two or more times because you are not satisfied with your score, which means you have to study on your own after high school graduation for another year or more.
If you are a boy, you have to serve in a military for roughly two years. Most of students go to army during their college years, so they usually have 6 or more years of college.
When you are near graduation, start looking for jobs.
Not so easy. Unlike in the US, as a new grad, you can apply for jobs once a year for big companies like Samsung. It's a yearly thing just like the college entrance exam.
And, you have to take an exam and pass to even submit your resume.
Oh, popular companies share the same date for their exams, so you can only apply for one.
Make a choice before you apply. It's to lower the competition (or so that you cannot have a competing offer to drive up your salary).
On your resume, you have to put things like:
- your picture: they grade how you look. some people do plastic surgery for this.
- your age: you have to be fresh out of college. over 30? no chance.
- your family info (not sure if still required): what does your father do? how much does he make? where do you live? is it a rent or owned?
- list goes on.
Now if you are really lucky and you get into those big companies, then they will pay you $40k-$50k a year which is very high compared to small companies where $20-$30k is average.
But, now you have no life. There is no such thing as work life balance.
There's no equity compensation in Korea. You get only the salary and bonus.
Cost of living and housing price is very high (avg $400-500k in Seoul).
You need to slave away the next 30 years to get out of debt. Then, you must retire at age 60. (retirement age is set in stone and you basically get fired).
Now do you really want to give birth to your children who will probably end up living the same life as yours?
I think this somewhat explains the extremely low birth rate and very high suicidal rate.
Apart from the reporting issues mentioned in other comments, Christianity has traditionally condemned suicide as a sin, while Confucianism has offered it as a possible solution in maintaining social harmony. Even though those religions may not exercise as much direct influence as they once did, they've shaped their respective cultures for centuries.
> I think there's something specific about suicide in the East that we just don't have in the West for whatever reason.
Are you sure? I'm not so sure. I think we just don't talk about it. There is a lot of suicide in the West. Staggeringly plenty.
Look at any statistics and you'll see that in most of the West, suicide is at the very peak of causes of death. 10th leading cause of death in 2013 officially.[1] And that doesn't count all those "Swerved left into oncoming traffic for no obvious reason" cases.
And pay attention to the news. Every "found dead in their apartment" news report for a famous person is a suicide. There's a lot of those.
But the West has a very strong ethic of not reporting suicide for fear of suicide epidemics. That's why celebrity suicides are never reported as suicides and why suicides in general rarely make it into the news.[2]
In short, suicide is a very real problem in the West too.
I literally just yesterday saw on national television news a report that suicide is the second leading cause of death for teenagers in the US.
Rather than invoking conspiracy theories, consider this much simpler theory: Western media doubles as entertainment and doesn't report much on suicide when they don't have to because it's fucking depressing.
This is a bullshit argument if I've ever seen one. Published suicide rates are accepted as non-controversial. Playing up "but but the US is worse because $conspiracy_theory" is completely asinine, although it gets up upvotes at places like HN and reddit who share a strong anti-US sentiment.
Yes Dorothy, there are places with worse suicide rates than others. Stop pretending suicide data is wrong because of your pet politics.
East Asia has one major cultural difference with the West that's relevant in this case. Status is taken to an extreme i.e. your job, your education, your clothes, your car, your lodgings, ...
In other words, "you are your clothes, your bank account, ...". When you don't have those things in East Asia, you're not that far from a homeless person in terms of status.
That's what I thought too - the people causing the problem and benefiting from it, trying oh-so-helpfully to give the victims an attitude adjustment to better deal with it.
Well, I hope more of them can move to the USA or someplace that has better opportunities. I'm not really saying that is a fix for SK's woes, but it may be a better outcome for the individual.
those are extremely biased unemployment rate. It's been known that unemployment rate conducted by government is totally a bullshit with too many restrictions to be categorized as "unemployed".
There are many articles (written in Korean) that list those restrictions, for example:
http://slownews.kr/19261
I believe joonhocho was speaking more about youth unemployment than overall unemployment. From the same web site, that rate appears to bounce around in the double digits:
